i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
