As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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