It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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