Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'd cum for enchiladas.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
