Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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