Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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