Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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