so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Well I just put wine in my tea
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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