My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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