Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize