I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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