yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.