I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.