whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.