Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
