she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
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Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
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We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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