1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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