How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
