this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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