i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
