So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize