Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
