i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
