I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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