Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
wow bdsm is so cute
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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