Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
