so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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