This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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