New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Boobs speak an international language.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
