Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
