the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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