Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Randomize
