Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
