I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
