you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
