she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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