her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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