I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
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I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
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I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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