found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We need to get me chipped asap
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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