Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
