wakey wakey hands off snakey
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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