I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
