k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
