remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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