I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize