I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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