the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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