PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
