So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize