The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
No I am not eating basil off your cock
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize