now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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