all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She needs sedatives and a leash
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
