I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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