All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize