The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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