I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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