i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
