I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
