Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
