This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
