is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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