Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
