I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
