Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
