I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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