Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
