just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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